Inception, much?

Okay this post might be a bit scary. You have been warned.

I always have this strange dream while taking a nap at every Friday early afternoon. I don't really think scary is the best way to describe it, although I do feel very tense while experiencing it. There's always fear in me that makes me somehow connect my experience with supernatural phenomenon, but I've tried to shove that thought away.

Basically, this whole strange dream turns out to be sleep paralysis (I've been so curious about this frequent symptom that I decided to find out about it today). Actually, it all began one night when I went to bed in a normal way, although a bit late than usual. In the middle of the night, I suddenly felt like I was awake, in my bed.

My eyes were open, but things looked a bit blurry, not that I wasn't wearing glasses, but my sight was just blurry and everything looked in front of me was vague. Although I was certain the whole setting took place in my bedroom and I remained in my current sleeping position which hadn't changed since I went to bed (face half buried in the blanket, knees bent as usual, body facing sideways to my right, face facing up front towards the wall).

When it happened, I tried to move my hands and arms, but they felt very heavy. No matter how I tried to move my arms and even assembled all of my physical power, they hesitated to move a muscle. If you ask, no, I saw nothing spooky or scary sitting on top of my body like everyone would likely to guess. I just felt paralyzed, that's it.

The dream continued when somehow, I jumped that being paralyzed scene and the next thing I knew, I was walking towards the door of my bedroom (This part was pure dream and maybe an additional to my sleep paralysis symptom). I didn't even know how I finally managed to break free from the invisible force that bounded all my nerves and muscles.

Everything in front of me still looked vague before I realized how big the room suddenly became, and the white door that stood in front of me was no longer white but a huge one that stretched over two meters high, with dark brown wooden carving on it, which I believed that carving was made out of teak tree.

I couldn't find a knob in order to open the door, that I began to get really scared. In the mean time, I could only ask for my roommate's help, who was sleeping on her bed next to mine. I literally shook her and all of a sudden she sprang up like a newly activated robot, sitting on her bed (which is impossible, because everytime someone wakes up, they will appear to have exhausted and lazy at first, as that's the phase to charge their energy).

I didn't quite see her eyes, but I remembered that suddenly she spit out several unclear words rapidly. I instinctively frowned and I was like “What are you trying to say? You're not helping at all!”, before I saw that she began to gradually transform into an old hag with long white hair (Okay this part IS scary, I must say).

Somehow I managed to escape my “bedroom” and went to the dimly lit living room, only to find that the storage closet near the entry door opened up. There, I saw some girls marching out of the room complete in what I remembered to be my school's marching band uniform. I hardly remembered if they held their instruments with them, but I did spot them marching out of the closet like they were about to enter the stage to perform. Logically speaking, wouldn't it be VERY IMPOSSIBLE to have a dozen or more of girls marching out of a 1x1 meter closet? Magician tricks, much? (Maybe because Elda and I had a brief conversation about marching band earlier)

Shortly after having that dream, I woke up and was relieved that it was pure dream. It was around 3-4ish in the morning. I looked at my roommate and thanked to the fact that she wasn't really transforming into a blabbering old hag, or else I would be freaked out for real. So far, that's my scariest nightmare. I reflected myself that maybe before going to bed, I forgot to pray like I usually do.

The rest of the dream following the sleep paralysis didn't come up in my next sleeps, it's just that the sleep paralysis that was still continuous up until now. Even it took place every Friday early afternoon after I went home from my morning class. Sleep paralysis is always the same. It becomes like a weekly, repeatable dream or something, but the truth is, it never changes. Sleep paralysis always takes place in my bedroom, me sleeping in my current position, but unable to move a single muscle.

Everytime I took a nap during that time, I would experience sleep paralysis, like feeling paralyzed while being awake in the dream. Somehow I came up with a slight solution, which was to struggle to break free whenever I felt paralyzed. I wouldn't stop doing that until I finally regained my consciousness, succeeded to move my muscles in reality, and reassured myself that it was only a dream. At least I would still be able to distinguish which one is dream and which one is reality.

It's actually not the nightmare part that scares me, it's the fact that whether I can distinguish which one is dream and which one is reality. You know, the part where people are often made confused about the existence of things around them.

Sometimes, my sleep paralysis in Friday nap time would be followed by a series of vague dreams, like I was being taken to some kind of places, going through a lot of events which felt like it lasted for ages. Taking a nap became like a journey to some place else, before I got to return to reality in an hour or two. Nothing as disturbing as the nightmare I told you, but the vagueness of the dreams sometimes left me quizzed, slightly tense, and dizzy upon awakening, such as one time I spotted a whirling wind or you may call as tornado, in Cupertino. "I" felt a rush of panic because at that moment, "I" saw it was wiping out my school area and it was about to wipe out Target as well.

That's probably one of the most vivid dreams I had in my Friday nap. Most of them, I barely even remembered, but it felt like I experienced something somewhere for quite a long time. Funny thing is that sometimes, my version in my dream would come to realize if it was a dream or not, then “I” would literally pinch myself on the hand but “I” felt numb. So finally “I” sighed and concluded “Well, then this is just a dream. I guess I have to wait till I wake up.” I guess this is the part that's called lucid dream, where a person's consciousness in a dream is aware whether they are in a dream or not.

The latest sleep paralysis I had is today, which led to me to question about this symptom. I was first about to ask my friend who could possibly interpret dreams and see if my sleep paralysis could actually mean something. But then I looked up for that information on the internet and found that it was a common type of sleeping problems, similar to having an insomnia, lucid dream, sleep deprivation, narcoleptic, excessive daytime sleepiness (which I'm sure everyone must have this symptom of sleeping in class).

It's a sleeping problem that takes place as a dream. One of the causes would be lack of sleep, which really, I can easily connect myself to it. I've been lacking of sleeps these days. The thing is, I always take a nap ever since I was in high school. If not, then I would be sleepy at an early hour such as at 7 pm. But comes with a nap, I could hardly sleep at normal hours like 9-11 pm, because I don't feel sleepy during those hours.

I'm not so sure if I'm stressed, because that's the second reason that triggers the symptom. I am fine with my academic life except for math, but I didn't really stress about it too much. Math is a stressful subject for everyone of course, but in the same time, I felt lucky because other classes that I take isn't that stressful or energy spending (maybe because I love those classes' topics and even if I don't, I try to enjoy myself being in that class).

Still, what's left in my head is, why does that sleep paralysis always have to occur on my Friday nap? I take a nap almost regularly on weekdays after school but never experienced that. I purposely take a nap every Friday early afternoon because in the afternoon I'll have a club meeting, followed by activities and hang out that can end up until midnight. But after experiencing that sleep paralysis, I always hesitate on taking a nap on Friday because of how annoying it can be, but I always can't resist to do so. I grew fear on taking a nap on Friday afternoon but if I didn't do it, I'd be very exhausted while doing my Friday activity. Instead of taking a nap to relax for a while, loosening all my tense nerves, taking a nap for me almost becomes like killing my time watching a thriller movie.

Well, let's think of a solution in a positive way: I should probably drink a lot (not orange juice by any means), I should go to bed not late at night, I must not overwork. Maybe those factors trigger sleep paralysis.

I watched Inception once and now I knew how Christopher Nolan drew his ideas to make the movie :). Sad but true, but I can relate to the movie pretty much, although not as dramatized as the movie.