Border Crossing

Warning for touchy subject matter.
I've been video editing for the past couple of hours, but the lag has been testing my patience. It's a big file, so that might explain the lag. So I'm taking a break from Adobe Premiere Pro-ing for now. I'll be getting back to it in just a second. This year, I'm determined to be a more legit writer by making more meaningful posts rather than keeping this blog as an online diary, the kind of blog in which you just post stuff you do every now and then.
I think I might have mentioned about this in a post before, about drinking, but I might approach this subject matter a little deeper.
Anyway, just to give you a little background of mine, I was born a Moslem, but you could say that I grew up in a Catholic community. I attended Catholic schools ever from kindergarten to high school. My mom encouraged me to enroll in those schools for their prestigious nature and good education quality. My mom is a convert so she is more open minded, while my dad is very religious, but he's not conservative at the same time. I believe he became open minded while keeping his religious upbringing strong, since he used to study in US and learned that his religious community (and mine as well) is a minority here, in reverse to the situation in Indonesia.
Anyway, religion has never been a big deal in our family. My family is a Moslem family and whenever I go back to Indonesia, family prayer is one of those moments that I cherish so much because I never get to do it here. It's the same feeling you get when you go to church every Sunday with your family.
When I was still in middle school, since 99% of my friends are non-Moslems, my dad sent me to an Islamic Boarding School once a week. I'm not sure if boarding school is the best term to describe the institution. It's not that much different than a Sunday school. They teach you stories from Quran, about the prophets. We learned about Adam and Eve, Abraham, Isaac, David and Goliath, Mohammad saw, and even Jesus in the Moslem version. Those subject matters didn't come out too different from what I was learning in the religion class at my school. But the big part about the boarding school program is to guide the students to read the Quran, and to learn what we read and how we could apply it in real life.    A bit about the boarding school. You might think of it as a huge school building with fancy interiors. The institution building is the house of its owner, with the biggest room used as the only classroom. It's a simple, family-run institution with simple facilities. There were no desks or chairs. As a replacement for desks, the institution has over a dozen small desks (the kind of desks that require you to sit on the floors with your legs crossed). The owner of the house also serves as the only teacher in the institution. It is located in a small, simple neighborhood in the middle of bustling Jakarta. Unlike typical upscale Jakarta neighborhood, people know their neighbors in this small, simple neighborhood. The residents spend their late afternoons sitting on their porches greeting people passing by. Just a simple "Hey, where are you going?" kind of greeting. It's a very friendly neighborhood.
Anyway, don't get me run on explaining about the institution. I got kind of awkward getting into the community at first because it was my very first Moslem community that I ever stepped my foot into. I was around 10 at that time. I never wore a casual hijab (not the kind of hijab you wear to pray), but going to the institution required me to wear a hijab, and that kind of put me outside my comfort zone, but I managed to push myself. However, my classmates were so nice to me, and so was my teacher. I was well-accepted in the institution, as well by the people who lived nearby the institution. I was surprised they even knew me before I got to introduce myself. Apparently news about me coming into the institution spread like wildfire. I wonder what drove the news to spread that crazy. I mean, I was just another newbie.
It turns out, apparently I was a newbie that has one-of-a-kind background compared to other kids in the institution: I went to a Catholic school, and I assume that news came from my dad who signed me up to the institution. He probably had a talk with my teacher and explained a bit about my background, which school I went to, and that probably hit the teacher. I was probably the first one. So when I first came in, my 10-12 year-old classmates swarmed me, saying "So you go to a Catholic school? How is it? What do you learn there? So all of your friends are Catholics?" Clearly that conversation convinced me that I was the first with that particular background that they ever met. Not just the kids, but the adults who live nearby also greeted me that way. They went on "Oh so you're the girl that goes to Catholic school."
One time, I saw a poster of Western musicians with my friends. The lead vocalist was seen wearing a cross necklace. I pointed out that I was a fan of that band, which is replied with one of my friends. "You like them? But they're Catholics!" I had to live through the boarding school life being labeled as "The girl that attends Catholic school."
Since I was just around 10 at that moment, I didn't take it too seriously. I could only nod as a reaction. But as I grew older and even when I moved to US, I looked back and thought that bringing up about religion in the first meeting could be a very sensitive subject. Of course, if now I was treated the same way they did to me 10 years ago, I wouldn't offended but I would frown and be like "Does the fact that most of my friends are Catholics bother you guys? If you guys forget, Indonesia is a country composed by a diverse society.
The demographic of Moslem in the country is huge and that statistically makes Indonesia a country with the biggest Moslem community, but I don't recall Indonesia is a religious-based country. We co-exist with 5 admitted religions here." I'm not sure if discriminated is the best way to describe it, but despite the fact that my classmates were very nice to me (they invited me to play hide and seek during breaks. I know, very old school), but somehow I felt like I wasn't fully accepted by my own community, with the religion that has been labeled to me since I was born, like I partly belonged to another community that has claimed 90% of my life (Catholic schools).
The best way to compare this situation is by telling a story about a Chinese-American person. I read stories like this when I was in the community college; stories about a person who were born in US by Chinese parents. He/she felt isolated by Chinese community as he was not a 100% Chinese because of the Western influences he/she grew up in, despite his/her physical appearance. He/she also felt like he/she wasn't fully a part of an American society because of his/her physical appearance. 
Anyway, I consulted about this "discrimination" issue with my dad as I grew up. I know my Islamic Boarding school classmates and the people around it didn't mean to put me on the spot or make me feel isolated with the "girl who attends Catholic school" label. They were sincere and genuine people, and I could tell by their smiles and the way they carry conversations. I knew they didn't have any intention to somewhat put me that label. I was aware of that. I believe people who grow up in a strong religious upbringing are all genuine and sincere.
Well, my dad told me not to blame them for putting me that certain label, but blame on the limited education that this community received and grew up with. They might embrace ethnocentrism, a situation where a group of people believe in the superiority in one's own ethnic group. I'm not sure exactly how this community is educated and whether or not they learn about tolerance with other religions the way I was taught at school. This might come across as a "duh" moment, but at my Catholic school, I was taught to co-exist with other religions, to tolerate them, to respect them as they are God's creations too. It could be something as simple as Christians sending Moslems "Eid Mubarak" wishes and the other way around. I don't want to judge. Of course, they should receive education about tolerance as that is one of the most principal subject matter every Indonesian should touch as we live in a diverse community, but they probably approached that matter slightly different from what I did. When I said this community, I meant my teacher's neighbors and my boarding school classmates. 
When I know about the kind of education my boarding school classmates received and how they applied that to me, I feel sad. I hope I could help them expand their perspectives and I hope I could somewhat contribute to remove that ethnocentrism in their culture, that they should not accept another religion's existence as an alien thing. Just because they don't directly co-exist with a group of people with different religions, it doesn't mean those other religions don't exist.
Their education system needed to be expanded. There isn't only one sole religion in Indonesia and again, as I recalled, Indonesia is not a religious-based country. I'm not saying the boarding school community is bad. Education is perceived differently in so many places, and this is the case. This is, again, based on my perspective as someone who has spent 90% of my life living from one diverse community to another.
I quit the boarding school as I grew up. I didn't recall what drove me to quit. I probably started to get overwhelmed with entering high school. As I continued to enroll in a Catholic institution (high school), my dad became one of a few people who had been the most responsible to implement me with knowledge about the religion I was born into, of course. My aunt and my dad's family who have a strong Islamic upbringing also contributed to this. But as I moved on, I didn't want to just rely on my dad and his family. Again, something could be perceived in different ways by different people. I wished, back in Indonesia, I could join Islamic youth groups so I could expand my perspective and gain more knowledge about Islam. Up to that point, my friends were still all 90% non-Moslems. I began to make friends with other moslems at my age when I attended other courses, such as Violin courses. Up until now, my Moslem friends, as I know of, were less than 10. But that shouldn't be a big deal for me. 
Having been raised in many diverse communities have helped me expand my knowledge and how things are perceived by different communities. I learned not to see things from just one eye but by multiple eyes and perspectives. I learned not to judge, not to be an ethnocentric.
When I entered college, I started receiving invitations to join Christian fellowships and even I was invited to join a Catholic choir for a concert. There was actually a Moslem club in the community college but since none of my friends are joining, and I had to say I didn't want to join a community if I knew no one in it, I decided not to join. I started to make even more friends from those fellowships and choir. My dad didn't mind about me joining those communities, as he and I believed that those communities somewhat helped me grow not religiously but to be a better person (by making friends and connections). I got to make myself busy every weekends by attending the fellowship services. 
My friends who invited me to the service, told me that they did that with no intention to convert me or whatsoever. "You can skip the service and not follow our prayers. Just have fun in the boba time after the service." they said. At one time, I had a reverse situation in contrast to the events in my Islamic boarding school. In a service one day, the topic was about Islam in the eyes of Christians, and we were supposed to have discussions about how Christians need to teach Moslems about Jesus. There is no offensive nature or any intention to corner Moslems in the discussion. I perceive that discussion more as how Christians perceive Moslems. How Moslems are perceived by Christians. The person next to me, a lady older than me that I did not recognize, turned to me and started that discussion. Out of nowhere, she asked me "What's your religion?" She might assume I was a Catholic or Buddhist (not a Christian, since I was in a Christian service. There isn't many Indonesian Moslem in the region), when I told her that I was a Moslem - the religion that became the subject of discussion that day - she was in awe for a second. "Ooooh, sorry I didn't know." she chuckled. I assumed she didn't want to offend me with the discussion so we ended up talking about something else. It would put me on the spot if we carried on with the discussion, and I truly appreciated how she decided to take that approach.
I also had to thank Elda too for introducing me to the Catholic choir, as that experience gave me one of the most precious moments I could ever have in US: performing in a concert. I used to perform in musical and performing arts recitals and concerts back in Indonesia and I missed the rigorous blocking and rehearsals days before the D-day. I thought I could never have the chance to do that again but the Christmas choir concert gave me a chance to relive all of those. See? I grew up in that particular way.
Then, I transferred from the community college in Bay Area to a four year art institution in LA. As I began to make friends with Indonesians (as there were only a handful of Indonesians at school. I had to make more Indonesian friends outside of school), I also learned more that most Indonesians that reside in LA - students or not - are Christians. There are so many of them that the community is divided into  regions, but they're based on one huge big Christian fellowship community in LA (or probably not just in LA). Sometimes though, I grew envy as my friends got to celebrate Christmas together with their friends and attended an Indonesian service, as I had to skip celebrating Eid, almost to the point acting that Eid didn't exist to me.
There is clearly no Eid celebration where I live. If I am in Indonesia during the celebration of Eid, then that day would be a very big day to me and my family, just like you and your family might typically do on Christmas. My family and I would pick our finest outfit (I never changed my Eid outfit from time to time), go to Eid prayer in the morning, have ketupat, opor, and lodeh as traditional Eid meal, and then come over to my grandma's house for a family reunion. We ate the same meal all over again, but the better version of the meal I had at home (my aunt is an amazing cook). It was a day full of joy, but in US, I had to skip all of those traditions. I remember, I spent my last Eid cramming on a project in the model shop. As I was cutting wood there, I received a call from my dad. He was in my grandma's house and he passed the phone to my relatives as we exchanged "Eid" wishes. "No, I don't celebrate Eid here. Too busy with work." I said as I continued gluing the wood pieces together. But my friends need not to worry about it. If they're in US, they could do those religious celebrations with their friends.
For a moment, I thought I had drifted away from the religion I was born into. I don't pray 5 times a week but I still pray before I sleep and give thanks to God for all the blessing He gives to me. I still had an occasional religion-related topics with dad on Skype. But again, I don't want to perceive one aspect from a single source.
Starting Fall 2013, my friend who just transferred to a university in LA (who was also a part of the Christian fellowship I attended in the Bay area), invited me to join her cell group. A cell group is a different activity compared to services I attended. It has a less religious nature and more of a discussion group, but still it's religious-based. It wasn't overwhelmingly religious. I started attending it on a weekly basis and gradually found a shelter in it. The topics discussed in the meetings are issues that happen surrounding us, about gender, gay marriage, school issues, being thankful, etc. Even better, each activity has a sharing session, where the participants are given a chance to share something that happened in their life lately or something as simple as being grateful with life itself. Those issues are very generic, and despite the religious nature of the activity, I don't see the topics brought up in the activity as religious-based. They are, again, very generic and even those topics could work in a philosophy class. The lecture given by the priest are precious life lessons instead of biblical studies.
The cell group becomes my new religious foundation, my shelter. It somehow brings me closer to God, not in a direct way. I still embrace the religion I was born into and I  never intend to leave it despite being raised in a completely different community. It is the way the cell group teaches me to be grateful in the littlest, simplest things we do and we have in life that brings me closer to God. I heard sayings like "It doesn't matter where you physically are, as long as you still keep your faith." and I've lived on that. I learned that I don't need to desperately find a Moslem community to bring me closer to God. We can find God in many different situations, as different and as unusual as a border crossing activity. Up until now, I thank my friends and the people who have introduced me to cell groups for that aspect and my dad for supporting my decision to join the cell groups for they have helped me grow in so many ways, not just in a religious approach but also, they have helped me grow as a better person, by making new friends. Of course, another benefit that I gained from the cell group and sharing session, which I also became thankful of, is how they managed to relieve my overwhelming stress.
Well, I guess it all comes down to the fact that no matter where we are and whom we are with, we just need to be grateful in even the simplest thing in life, regardless the religion. As long as we accept others with a different belief, we'll live simply in peace.
I hope I don't offend any particular groups out there. My post doesn't mean to offend or pick on a specific groups. If you perceive it that way, my apology. That is not meant to be my intention. Anyway, hope everyone have a great day. Peace out.