Oh God I feel so discouraged to write posts these days because I feel my English is getting worse. Excuse me for going to an art school where they don't often assign you essays to improve your writing skills.
Hey guys, I'm back, and proudly, as a twenty-one year old. Haha do you hear that? I'm a proud twenty-one year old!! I've been waiting all my life (no, actually I've been waiting for it since three years ago) to actually reach this age. On the other hand, I'm getting older though.
So twenty-one: a number that's really significant that when you turn into that age, people add "Congrats, you're a twenty-one year old now!!!" after their birthday wishes to you. Twenty-one is a number underage drinkers are desperate to be. Twenty-one is a turning point where a person, regardless of which cultures they are raised into, become officially an adult. Twenty-one is a number people start to view you as a legit grown-up. But why does it have to be twenty-one? Why not twenty, a number that is more significant to mark someone's coming-of-age since they have officially left the teens period? Nobody came up to me last year when I turned twenty-one with the words "Congrats, you're twenty years old now!!! You're legal!", instead, they just simply said "Happy birthday".
So twenty-one: a number that's really significant that when you turn into that age, people add "Congrats, you're a twenty-one year old now!!!" after their birthday wishes to you. Twenty-one is a number underage drinkers are desperate to be. Twenty-one is a turning point where a person, regardless of which cultures they are raised into, become officially an adult. Twenty-one is a number people start to view you as a legit grown-up. But why does it have to be twenty-one? Why not twenty, a number that is more significant to mark someone's coming-of-age since they have officially left the teens period? Nobody came up to me last year when I turned twenty-one with the words "Congrats, you're twenty years old now!!! You're legal!", instead, they just simply said "Happy birthday".
Turning twenty-one, what's all the fuss about? I was so curious about the significance of "twenty-one" that I had to bring myself looking it up online. Most references say that being a twenty-one year-old is significant because it's the age where you become legal, but in what context? Here's the list that I found:
- You officially become an adult
- You can vote
- You can move out of your parents, and finally...
- You can DRINK
Okay, are people really excited to become an adult? I am excited, and nervous at the same time. Being an adult means there are more responsibilities to bear. But as of now, my mom still overlooks my bank account, my mom controls my financial situation since I haven't got a chance to work part time and have some earnings just for myself. I can vote, yeah but in Indonesia. But really, are you that excited to finally be able to vote? Unless you're some sort of a fanatic politic fan and you're so much into debates between Democrats and Republicans, then yeah, it should be significant to you. You can move out of your parents, hmm sounds cool but none of my friends who just turned twenty-one did that now, or at least, I know many people who have moved out of their parents ever since they haven't reached twenty-one, but it's a different context: those people, including me, traveled far from our hometowns to study, so essentially, we had to live without our parents. Why no one said you could go to clubs when you turned twenty-one? Because you could actually go to clubs when you were eighteen, where in some countries, it's already a legal age, but you can't drink in a club if you're eighteen, especially in some other countries like US.
By the way, strangely, no one said you can get married by the age of twenty-one, because age to marry is pretty much flexible that people from all cultures haven't set an age standard when one should marry.
So it all comes to the ultimate point of being a twenty-one year old.
You can drink.
Isn't that what underage drinkers are desperate about? Being a twenty-one year-old? In conversations that I had with my friends, they often whined about having not been a twenty-one year-old, despite the fact that they actually drink. "Well." I replied them. "You can ask someone who's over twenty-one to buy you drinks. If you're afraid to be caught drinking in public, then drink at home." To which they responded "Yeah, but you can't really buy drinks on your own. You have to depend on them." and the conversation comes to one conclusion said by the same friend. "Oh how lucky it is being a twenty-one year-old." and in this context, following our topic, it refers to being lucky to be a twenty-one year-old because it's a legal age to drink. There were so many teenagers around me who were striving to get fake IDs, and by any means changing their birth years from (for example) 1997 to 1991, or something like that, merely only to get an access to alcohol in public places. I got that offer before three years ago when I first arrived in US, and one fake ID would cost me like $200. Why would I spend so much money over something that I knew was bad for health?
On the other hand though, I had this conversation with a friend of mine who also turned twenty-one and she said drinking wasn't that special anymore as a twenty-one year-old. "The joy of drinking when you're underage is, you feel rebellious and you're proud of that because you weren't supposed to do that. Now that you're legal and drinking feels so normal."
On the other hand though, I had this conversation with a friend of mine who also turned twenty-one and she said drinking wasn't that special anymore as a twenty-one year-old. "The joy of drinking when you're underage is, you feel rebellious and you're proud of that because you weren't supposed to do that. Now that you're legal and drinking feels so normal."
I do actually drink. I have drunk before I even turn twenty-one, but I don't feel so much different now, since I consider myself a social drinker. I know my limits, when to drink, and when not to. Whom I should go drinking with and whom I should not drink with. In a nutshell, I rarely drink. I'm not even sure if, by the age of twenty-one, I will buy my own liquor. I'd prefer to go to an event and share it with fellow friends, because I know if I have one whole bottle of liquor to myself, I won't be able to finish it myself.
Well, maybe the only difference I feel is, before I turned twenty-one, I felt so bad for drinking because I knew I wasn't supposed to. It's against the law, both the Indonesian and American law. I'm not sure when people say it's against the law, it means it's synonymous to committing a crime. If that is true though, then, in a nutshell, I have committed a crime, and so have other underage drinkers. Now that I'm twenty-one, I can drink without feeling bad anymore.
On October 23, when I turned twenty-one, my friends congratulated me for being a twenty-one year-old. "Congrats Carissa, you're now legal." I'm sure the word legal could refer to many things, but ultimately, in an unspeakable way, it refers to 'legal to drink'. It can't possibly be 'You're legal to move out of your parents' because I already did or 'You're legal to vote!' cos I'm not all that psyched about voting, and I'm sure everyone isn't as well. So yeah, it must be 'legal to drink'.
How do my parents view me as a new twenty-one year-old? They both know that I drink. They're very open minded about it because they know people at my age, at some points, do drink. They warn me not to go too far as being wasted. My mom texted me saying "Time to open the wine bottle!" it's a metaphor of being legal to drink since I don't literally have a wine bottle. While my dad, who have actually listened to all my whines about how lucky a twenty-one year old could be for a few years back (yeah I'm one of those whining underage drinkers), told me "You're now legal, sooooo...?" before he went to the serious talk by telling me not to be overwhelmed being a twenty-one year-old and not to misuse that age merely just to drink. He even ended my birthday wish with "May God protect you". Those words can be interpreted in so many ways, but in this context, one of those ways could refer to "May God protect you from all the temptations such as alcohol." (Yes/no?)
...which brings me to another fact: the fact is that I'm a Moslem.
Moslem has this law that forbids its people to drink alcohol. Alcohol is haram, which essentially means if you commit to doing what is haram then you're pretty much sinned. I'm pretty sure all religions do restrict alcohol, but Moslem is the most known religion to really do it. Even non-Moslems know that Moslems are so strict about alcohol. And now, you ask me, "You're a Moslem, why do you drink?" Honestly, I'm not sure. That's a question I still haven't figured out the answer yet. I just do. But the closest thing to my answer would be the fact that the person that I am depends on who I surround myself with. I know it's a bad thing. I heard about the things that it could damage your organs in a long run and all that. So I believe all religions don't want their followers to deteriorate their health by drinking alcohol. I'm aware of this health issues, which is why I'm not addicted to drink. I don't drink every week. Again, I wanted to emphasize here that I only drink during social events, and social events don't happen every week, and I try to drink responsibly. Having lived in US, and having blended in with Western culture, I'm aware that social events often include drinks (whether beverages or liquors) and I follow that tradition. Here's another fact, despite the fact that Moslem law restricts alcohol, I know some Moslem friends and relatives who do actually drink, so...
It all comes to this, does the word 'legal to drink' apply to Moslems?
My dad, who is one of a few people who has been most responsible to implement me with all knowledge about the religion I was born into, since I've been raised in a non-Moslem community, told me that Moslems aren't supposed to recognized the term 'legal to drink' since alcohol is pretty much restricted for Moslems regardless of how old people are. Legal, yes, in other contexts but drinking. My dad told me that the reason why Moslems forbid drinking is pretty logical, and that is because drinking could make people drunk that they could do inappropriate and unethical actions. However, he doesn't fully forbid me to drink. He isn't one of the religious people who would just say that alcohol is forbidden because God says so and that's it, period. Instead, he implemented me with a logic sense that follows after the religious ban on alcohol. The reason behind the alcohol ban is no longer religious-based, but more into logic, because really, that stuff really is a ticking bomb to your body.
I really am grateful to have parents who truly understands the culture I currently grow up in, unlike some other parents of my friends who threatened to have them go back to their home country if the parents found out they drink. I maintain communication as honest as possible with my friends, and I don't want to be a hypocrite: the one that puts on a good girl face in front of the parents, but they do things they don't want their parents to figure out. I don't want to be that person. I don't want to keep lying to my parents that I avoid drinks in the States and when they do find out, they'll be shocked. I feel that communicating with my parents about me drinking also limits my chances of getting drunk and hangover too. They keep on reminding me of my limits, and to stay conscious as possible. Thank goodness I have a considerably high alcohol tolerance. I drank a bottle of beer and remained sober. Spirits are my biggest weakness and I try my best to avoid them.
Drinking itself has been a culture in the place I currently live in, and I can totally adapt myself to that situation. I'm not pressured at all. My mom, who's a convert, doesn't care at all about the fact that I drink. She's more open minded and very logical, and this is also supported by the fact that her nephews (my cousins) do drink as well because they aren't Moslems. I am even more grateful that my Dad is even more understanding. Despite the fact that he has a strong religious upbringing and even has performed a Hajj pilgrimage, he never, in any way, attempted to abruptly stop me from doing something that his religion and even mine has forbidden, regardless how often I do that. My dad then told me that the reason why he didn't abruptly tried to stop me from drinking like any other typical parents would do is supported by the fact that he used to live in US. To blend in with the community, one must learn the culture and be with it as well. At this point, I am grateful because my dad's background doesn't put me in trouble. Imagine if my dad never took that rare chance to study US years ago and opened his mind about the drinking culture happening here: I might have been sent back home from the moment he found out I drank.
I really am grateful to have parents who truly understands the culture I currently grow up in, unlike some other parents of my friends who threatened to have them go back to their home country if the parents found out they drink. I maintain communication as honest as possible with my friends, and I don't want to be a hypocrite: the one that puts on a good girl face in front of the parents, but they do things they don't want their parents to figure out. I don't want to be that person. I don't want to keep lying to my parents that I avoid drinks in the States and when they do find out, they'll be shocked. I feel that communicating with my parents about me drinking also limits my chances of getting drunk and hangover too. They keep on reminding me of my limits, and to stay conscious as possible. Thank goodness I have a considerably high alcohol tolerance. I drank a bottle of beer and remained sober. Spirits are my biggest weakness and I try my best to avoid them.
Drinking itself has been a culture in the place I currently live in, and I can totally adapt myself to that situation. I'm not pressured at all. My mom, who's a convert, doesn't care at all about the fact that I drink. She's more open minded and very logical, and this is also supported by the fact that her nephews (my cousins) do drink as well because they aren't Moslems. I am even more grateful that my Dad is even more understanding. Despite the fact that he has a strong religious upbringing and even has performed a Hajj pilgrimage, he never, in any way, attempted to abruptly stop me from doing something that his religion and even mine has forbidden, regardless how often I do that. My dad then told me that the reason why he didn't abruptly tried to stop me from drinking like any other typical parents would do is supported by the fact that he used to live in US. To blend in with the community, one must learn the culture and be with it as well. At this point, I am grateful because my dad's background doesn't put me in trouble. Imagine if my dad never took that rare chance to study US years ago and opened his mind about the drinking culture happening here: I might have been sent back home from the moment he found out I drank.
Anyway, back to the topic of twenty-one as a legal age. I have seen so many posts of my friends who just turned twenty-one years old, mostly saying "I'm finally legal!!!" or "I'm finally twenty-one years old!" and some of them even took a picture of a shot glass filled with clear liquid in it to go along with it, or a bottle of liquor. When I saw the word "finally", I kind of wanted to laugh. Did you really wait that long to be twenty-one years old, just to be able to drink legally? Are you really that desperate? And you ask, did I do the same thing?
Well, I'm aware I'm a legal, but I didn't do all the liquor or shot-picture posting and I have reasons for that: First, some of my friends on social media, and who aren't even Moslems, don't drink and I know they're the kind of people who think drinking is the silliest thing people can ever do. So their reason isn't based on any kind of religion or belief but more on personal views, and I truly respect that. Second, some of the people on my Friends list on social media, were high school faculty. Imagine them seeing a picture of something as sinned as a liquor bottle sitting nicely on my timeline, their former student's timeline. Oh no. Who would want that to happen? All in all, I'm aware some of my friends on social media believe that liquors are very touchy subjects and I also truly respect that. I won't go sprawling billions pictures of liquors and beers on my photo gallery.
Now that I didn't expose myself as a drinker on social media, now the question is, did I drink when I turned twenty-one?
Actually I did. I had an Absolut Vodka my friend gave it to me on her farewell party over a month ago. I initially asked her if i could have it, but the initial reason why I wanted to have the liquor wasn't the fact that it was a liquor: but the fact that it had a beautiful design on it. Come on people, don't liquors have the best packaging and labeling design in the world out of all other products? That liquor could serve as a nice decoration in my room. Even back in my place in Jakarta, my family has this one shelf with various, possibly 50-something-year old untouched and unsealed liquors, champagnes, and wines sitting on it solely for decorations. Then after some time, I thought, maybe I could save it for my twenty-one year old birthday. I still feel like being twenty-one needs to be marked by at least tasting my first legal alcohol. It's kind of like a coming-of-age ritual. I didn't do it with my friends, I just did it on my own, which might sound pretty lame. Again, I'm not sure if I felt so much different and whether drinking alcohol was so much significant for me. When I took a sip of it, the vodka tasted like the same old vodka I tasted way before. It doesn't mean the vodka was going to taste differently when I turned twenty-one, whether it was going to taste so much sweeter when you're twenty-one. I just felt legal, like drinking was no longer a wrong thing for me to do.
But I still bear the Moslem status in me. Somehow, somewhere deep down inside, I felt like despite being a twenty-one year old, drinking is still a bad thing. You commit sin, not to my fellow Moslems, but to God. Somehow, that status instantly hid inside me when the taste of liquor entered my throat.
Don't worry, it was only a sip, I swear. I didn't go wasted. Trust me, I've been drunk before. It was the most bitter but the most fun experience at the same time, ever. The after effect, though, was a b*tch.
And actually, my friend Aymee just brought up this interesting point: that alcohol in moderation is healthy, and I do agree with that. In history, alcohol was used to heal the pain and it serves to heal other kinds of illness too. "Kinda helps your body from ingesting too much cholesterol. Thus lessening the chance of cholesterol related misfortunes" I quoted it from her. So that proves that alcohol isn't all that forbidden, if used in proper manner and in proper condition. Too bad too many people have misused its original function these days: what was supposed to originally heal pain and contribute to health, was used to make one lose its consciousness, make one forget about their problems, and make one lose themselves in uncontrollable fun.
Don't worry, it was only a sip, I swear. I didn't go wasted. Trust me, I've been drunk before. It was the most bitter but the most fun experience at the same time, ever. The after effect, though, was a b*tch.
And actually, my friend Aymee just brought up this interesting point: that alcohol in moderation is healthy, and I do agree with that. In history, alcohol was used to heal the pain and it serves to heal other kinds of illness too. "Kinda helps your body from ingesting too much cholesterol. Thus lessening the chance of cholesterol related misfortunes" I quoted it from her. So that proves that alcohol isn't all that forbidden, if used in proper manner and in proper condition. Too bad too many people have misused its original function these days: what was supposed to originally heal pain and contribute to health, was used to make one lose its consciousness, make one forget about their problems, and make one lose themselves in uncontrollable fun.
Anyway, let's come back to the reasonable talk. Does the word legal have to always refer to 'legal to drink'? In a sort of unspeakable way?
Is being twenty-one all about drinking?
How do you define by legal?
I took some time, exactly since my birthday a few days ago, to really think about this. Really, people, is being twenty-one all about being wasted in a legal way? There's so much more about being twenty-one than just that. To start it all, let's go back to the first three list I put up in the earlier part of the post. Even more than that, being twenty-one means you have to bear more responsibilities as an adult, to be able to manage yourself, and to be have more freedom in making decisions. So, future twenty-one year-olds, those are the aspects you need to think about. Don't be all so cheap thinking that being twenty-one means you can all go drinking. You can drink, but responsibly. However, there's so much more to the two numbers than that.
How do you define by legal?
I took some time, exactly since my birthday a few days ago, to really think about this. Really, people, is being twenty-one all about being wasted in a legal way? There's so much more about being twenty-one than just that. To start it all, let's go back to the first three list I put up in the earlier part of the post. Even more than that, being twenty-one means you have to bear more responsibilities as an adult, to be able to manage yourself, and to be have more freedom in making decisions. So, future twenty-one year-olds, those are the aspects you need to think about. Don't be all so cheap thinking that being twenty-one means you can all go drinking. You can drink, but responsibly. However, there's so much more to the two numbers than that.
Last but not least, if you're one of those people who already think that twenty-one years old isn't merely just about drinking, please don't judge me as a narrow minded. I know some people out there think being twenty-one years old isn't all about drinking. This post is written based on how I view the life around me.
Well, hope you enjoy my writing. Don't drink and drive :)
Well, hope you enjoy my writing. Don't drink and drive :)
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