When Sambal Becomes Sriracha

Have you ever felt like you started to lose articulation and fluency of your own mother language? If you have, then you feel what I'm feeling. I just wanted to share a bit about how my Bahasa has become ever since I moved to US two years ago. It's kind of embarrassing to say that my English might have improved but I gradually started to lose my fluency and articulation in my own native tongue. How embarrassing and even ironic was that, seeing that I was even enrolled in Language Division back in high school for two years. Being in Language Division should make you one of the people that is rich of Bahasa vocabularies, which sadly I started to lose now.

Even I think my Bahasa has become even worse when I moved to Pasadena, where I made almost zero contact with fellow Indonesians, making Bahasa a no-longer speakable daily language for me. Even I could spend days or up to a week not speaking Bahasa at all. The only moments I spoke Bahasa was when I made phone or Skype calls with my parents or if I bumped into two-three Indonesian students at school. Please note that unlike my previous college where Indonesian people often traveled in packs like wolves, there's barely any Indonesian in my current college. There are a few actually, about 10 or more, but our busy and tight life as art students kind of disconnected the solidity of the bond between us. There are no "Let's meet up for lunch" kind of calls because everyone is just too busy, and also seeing that I know no Indonesian in my major who's at the same term as mine.
Anyway, I mentioned that I was enrolled in Language Division back in high school, right? Anyway, looking back I could proudly say that my Indonesian vocabs were pretty rich, even extending to the poetic, metaphorical phrases that common people wouldn't understand. I knew synonym of things and how to convert one simple word to a similar word that sounds like it just descended from heaven. I wrote poems, short stories, literary works in Bahasa back in the day, mostly because I was highly influenced by the daily readings assigned to me and my classmates in Indonesian Literature classes. Those readings subsequently improved and enriched our vocabs on Indonesian literary words. My classmates and I might have as well considered ourselves to be the most affluent writers and speakers at school.
Right now, I often have problems in describing a particular word in Bahasa because sometimes I would just forget what it is in Bahasa. Whenever I make phone calls with my parents, I started to mix up English with Bahasa, and I'm 90% sure they probably take some time to figure out what I really meant to say. At some points I just couldn't make up some words in Bahasa and decided it might be easier for me to say those words in English instead. When I worked for an internship last summer, I was supposed to translate English articles to Bahasa, and sometimes vice versa. There were some points where I had a little problem in coming up with a word in Bahasa. At one point, I paused for a second to decide whether the Indonesian word for "activity" actually comes with an "f" or with a "v", something that even a kindergarten kid would easily make that word up for me. I asked a colleague about that, because after all, I didn't want to end up having typos in my translated text.
"Of course with a 'v'. Been living too long in the States, huh?" He pointed out at me, and I felt horribly embarrassed at that moment, since it might indicate that being too long in the States have eroded my speaking and writing skills in Bahasa. I'm still grateful that my colleagues during my internship understands my situation, seeing that I've lived in US for two and a half years now. I wouldn't imagine what other people would respond to my slight inarticulacy in Bahasa. They might as well tease me for being too Americanized or whatever. And yeah you might be one of the people that would say, "Dasar sok Americanized, sok whitewashed."
Another moment happened to me when I just got back from the States a year ago for summer vacation. My dad took me to Bakmi GM as a welcome treat. I had a slight problem in conversing in Bahasa back then. You see, in English, we say "Can I have [insert choice of meal or drink]?" to order a meal. I have always used that expression in US whenever I wanted to order something. Whenever I go to restaurants, those expressions would slip out of my tongue easily without even bothering how to think of saying. But in Bahasa, you can't just translate those words literally, otherwise it would sound awkward because 'have' in Bahasa would mean something in possession "punya" rather than making an order. So, if you literally translate, for example, "Can I have fried rice?" in Bahasa ("Boleh saya punya fried rice?"), it would mean as if you're asking to have fried rice as a possession. Aaawwwkwaaaarddd Anyway, before I made my order, I asked my dad first that to you, might be the silliest question ever. I asked him "What do you say to order food in Bahasa?". I still thanked the fact that my dad didn't crack up at my question, and I thanked the fact that I asked the right person. I wouldn't imagine what it'd be like if the person I asked that question to would crack up right in front of me. Apparently, ordering food in Bahasa is much simpler, because all you gotta to do is just say the name of the food or drink, with a quantity that follows afterwards. Addressing the waiter/waitress with the proper title is necessary too. So it goes, for example, "Nasi gorengnya satu ya, mbak." which translates to. "One [plate of] fried rice, miss." One more case. Ever since I moved to US, I barely used any Indonesian texting abbreviations anymore. Something like "Myn. gy dmn." (which I figured lately that those words actually stand for "Lumayan, Lagi di mana?" or roughly translates to "Not bad. Where are you?"). My chats might strike some of you guys to be quite mouthful because I tend not to un-abbreviate everything. Lately, I was chatting to a high school faculty member who's still surprisingly in touch with me. He went "Gy d jkt ya." It took me a moment to figure out what that means. I know it might not be appropriate to ask him what he was trying to say, because of course everyone else would know what it means. So I just paused there for a second or two before figuring out that he meant to say "Lagi di Jakarta ya?" which means "Are you in Jakarta?". Again, I'm strongly aware that for some reason, Indonesians tend to think that English is a much-advanced language that whoever is able to speak it is cool. I admit that at first, before I even got to learn English, it is a cool, slightly tongue-twisting language, but right now, I don't think about it any longer. English is just a main part of my life and anyone's life. It's a main tool to communicate and I don't even see the aspect of it being cool anymore. You might be familiar with this German-Indonesian actress who speaks Indonesian with an exaggerated American accent (I live in US and none of my American friends speaks like her). I have to say though, that I'm having a hard time figuring out whatever she says because she keeps on mixing English and Bahasa at the same time, though I admit her English is pretty damn good. What I'm saying is that at one point fellow friend is also a making a slight remark about my Bahasa is getting worse and compared me to that actress. I'm not sure if it's a compliment or not, but anyway, losing the ability of speaking Bahasa might lead Indonesians to think that you've become whitewashed, you've assimilated to American community whatsoever and this all comes back to the idea that you don't even acknowledge your roots anymore.   Dude, don't worry. I still speak Bahasa very fluently and try to balance it with my English first. Even at some points, I just couldn't describe something in English. So it doesn't only go for Bahasa-English but English-Bahasa as well. Don't think that I'm proud that my Bahasa is getting worse. My English is not as good too at some points. So love your language. I heard people saying that Bahasa Indonesia sounds so delicate and beautiful that they're intrigued to learn it, which is absolutely a good thing! So, be proud if you're Indonesian. Preserve your language! Now that I'm reading all my poems and short stories written for my Indonesian literature classes, I'm like "How the heck could I write such things?". Even looking back, I couldn't understand some of the words I wrote back then.